Director: Jim Jarmusch
Genre: Drama

Starring Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton, Only Lovers Left Alive deals with a manic depressive vampire (Adam) and his wife Eve. Adam dresses all in black and hides in his house, while Eve is an albino who loves the outdoors. Adam complains about “the zombies,” writes depressive music and has a gun with a wooden bullet under his bed. His only outside contact is his friend and manager, who may be leaking his music for profit.

This is a by-the-numbers vampire movie, with very little to make it stand out. Hiddleston, Swinton and Hurt are wasted, the script dull, the ideas old. There isn’t anything new here, nothing worth staying for. They’re great actors, but here they are just going through the motions. The occasional flash of brilliance or interesting subplot (is Adam’s music being leaked, and by who?) gets lost in the mediocrity.

Put it this way. This is a vampire movie starring Tom Hiddleston, and it is exactly that. When I read the synopsis, I got a very clear image in my head and I got exactly that. For better or worse, this is exactly what you expect. If that sounds good, you’ll love it, if not, there’s little I can recommend. Hiddleston is a great actor, but he deserves better than this.

Donal O’Connor

Shown at this year’s TIFF13 : Toronto International Film Festival.