This leads me to my next criticism, the fact that as a viewer you never really want any of the characters to succeed in their personal missions. Bradley Cooper’s main opponents are people who are concerned that his lumber operation will leave the land surrounding it desolate and unlivable, and we’re supposed to support Cooper’s character because his business gives men jobs? Jennifer Lawrence’s character doesn’t care that Cooper’s character had a baby with another women previous to their relationship: “Anything that happened before our love, didn’t happen” (or some such nonsense). Then after she loses her baby she finds out that Cooper has been secretly supporting the mother of his child, and that makes her go on a cold-blooded killing spree? She is also aided by another man in the camp whose mother told him a prophecy and now he’s going to throw away his life to help a psychotic woman?

An honest tagline for this movie would read: “Serena: depressing things happen to bad people”. So clearly with all the baby death and drama it’s not a romantic comedy, if it were a drama you would actually care what happens with the main characters, but by the final quarter all sympathy leaves you and you’re just left hoping they all fail. The only exception to this is the central antagonist, a sheriff who spends most of the movie trying to bring down Bradley Cooper’s operation.

This would be a masterful stroke if it was intended, but by centering on the “love” between J-Law and Cooper for most of the film, it appears accidental. This whole critique could be summarized in one sentence: “Just like the man with eight arms, it tried to please everyone but ended up tying itself into a knot.” Canada will receive a nation-wide release of the movie the weekend of December 5th.

Darcy Smith